A state of intense warmth and openness

I'm back at work now, for the past two days.  It is a sad state of affairs.  Being distant from baby, Rose, and the various chores that I would otherwise be doing at home, I feel like I'm confronting myself again.  I suspect that having all of my attention focussed on the baby is not meant to be used as an instrument for escapism, but it has been nice not to have to be preoccupied with my own issues, and work leaves me with a lot of time to do so.

But I don't want to be depressing.  The reason I'm starting on the topic is to note the inevitable distance that is, too soon for my taste, now being placed between me and my baby.  So I wanted to get to this while it's still somewhat fresh in mind: expressing the basic emotions that swelled up in the first moments, and first days, of being with my son.  It all easily slips into cliche territory, especially when I am having small-talky conversations with some colleagues.  And even more serious conversations don't always lead to a meaningful formulation.  So I gave it some thought, and the first expression of the emotions I experienced was "a primal emotion of joy."  Primal as in 'basic,' in the best sense of the word.  But this was not quite right.  So I ended up with "a state of intense warmth and openness."

I mentioned in my last post my marvelling at Leo's evolutionary mechanism through which he captures my complete attention.  It is really an evocation striking at a biological aspect of my psychology.  There is something fascinating about trying to observe my own nature irresistibly being manipulated in the process.  

One of the more insightful books I read about parenting, Our Babies, Ourselves, is a lay introduction to ethnopediatrics,a recently-established branch of comparative anthropology which looks at how babies are nurtured across different cultures.  By looking at how infant rearing is done in most cultures, typical North American practices such as sleeping arrangements, sleep training, strollers, reacting to crying, and diapers are challenged.  The practices which are encouraged as a result of these types of comparisons, are reflected in attachment parenting (carrying your baby, sleeping with your baby, breastfeeding your baby).  (Attachment parenting also emphasizes the neurologically immature state of a newborn, which is also a good reason to be nurturing the baby in a sheltered environment for the first few months).

It occurred to me that the innate biological reactions of parents to their babies might also be an interesting subject of study (and perhaps it has already been).  I had thought of, and someone else mentioned, imprinting, as in our babies indelibly imprinting themselves on us from birth (though I think the term is used to describe the mimicking behaviour of newborns in certain species).

The benefits of having this emotional impact on his parents are obvious for a human newborn, the most helpless newborn of all mammals: the baby gets to be taken care of attentively, rather than abandoned for because he robs us of our sleep and takes over much our lives!  The benefits to the parents are not as practical (nor external) for the first little while.  Our reward is in experiencing a state of intense warmth and openness.